There’s a Diarrhoea Finish on the park tonight,
Daffy’s bowling, and he’s cat’s arse tight!
The last man gobs, and he goes like that*
The short leg’s in and he calls him a twat,
The batsman plays – the air is rent
There’s Baywatch on in the Ladbrokes’ tent
There’s a glint on the windscreen of the sponsored car,
The Tandoori’s open in half an hour.
And it’s not for the sake of a third-round tie,
Or a place in the rankings from Whyte and Mackay.
An over to go, we still need eight….
We’re off – it’s raining. F***ing great!
[Copyright Ray Poole (Verse) Hinckley, 1995]
* A re-adjustment of the box, signifying ‘I mean business’